One thing I have learned in my adulthood is the value of the people we surround ourselves with. I spent my evening today in a quaint French cafe in Dublin with my cousin. We sat over 2 pots of tea and talked for 3 hours. Asides, from a rest-bite from the Baltic weather outside and the ‘Instagramable’ setting, what I most appreciated about the situation was this person sitting across from me actually listened and cared about everything I was saying. At one point, he got up and left for the bathroom and in that time I started to analyse the last hour. I felt I’d talked to much, I told myself I would make sure I would ask him all the questions when he came back. But, when he came back I was so heartened to hear that he had felt the same when he was talking and that he really doesn’t have many people in his life that he feels can truly empathize with him. I agreed. Suddenly, I was aware of how valuable this person was in my life and I in his.
I’ve thought about this since and how we both wished we had more people like this in our lives. I do feel very lucky to have a handful of people who can empathize with me and who I honestly feel of value to as well. I thought about the people I have like this in my life, the people who just leave you feeling at ease, understood, and like you belong somewhere. I remembered how I found them and what was it about them that just made me know they were the sort of people I wanted to keep in my life. So here is what I came up with on how to spot people who are good for your soul.
People who care enough to remember things about you and stories you’ve told truly make you feel like the things you say to them matter. This helps build up trust between you, so in the moment you know that what you are saying is actually being retained by that person.
They Are Always On Your Side
There are enough Nay – Sayers in the world without surrounding yourself with people who don’t support you. In those moments when you doubt yourself, the people who can reinforce the belief in yourself and your decisions, are people who are truly good for your soul.
They Appreciate Your Friendship
You may be extremely compatible as people and know you have a great time together. But if they aren’t aware enough and show you they value you, they become another source of insecurity in your life. Just like in a romantic relationship, we need to feel appreciated.
They Understand You
Nothing feels better than feeling like someone understands your struggles and feels them with you. As humans, we need to feel a part of a community no matter how small. I actually prefer it small, because I get more value from the closer relationships with meaning. If you don’t have to explain why you do things or why you’re upset, then you know there is a valuable empathy which exists between you.
Anyway, I hope this article added value to you. I am writing it pretty late and will probably add more on the topic later.
Live and Learn,