We have all been there. The old friend we’ve always loved, the ex boyfriend we just cant seem to shake the feeling of, the fling we fell in love with abroad. We can all relate to the gut-twisted, heavy-hearted feeling of missing someone. I can feel it right now. This is not going to be a ‘How to’ article, because I do not know how to miss someone the right way, if there is a right way. However, I do know the way I am feeling doesn’t feel right, so therefore, I have decided to write an article about how NOT to miss someone.
Dream about said Missed Person
Some may argue that we have little control over our dreams, but I say that is a poor excuse for letting your mind run WILD at night. Stop those dreams! Stop sleeping if you have to, because dreaming about someone you miss definitely is BAD. Your mind is tricked into believing they are with you only to have them ripped from you again in the morning. You dwell on the dream all day; googling dream meanings looking for answers. You’re torturing yourself. Stop the dreams, stop them!
Don’t ask me how, those answers are on another website. I still haven’t looked them up because I kind of look forward to those dreams. Sigh, I’m in deep.
Block and unblock and block etc
Do not unblock after the missed person has been blocked on social media. You will not derive any satisfaction from seeing the same pictures you have already lamented over 10 times before. The person you miss is not in the picture they are somewhere else with someone else. Looking at these pictures will only remind you that they are no-longer with you. This will make you miss them MORE. I repeat, do not unblock once blocked. COMMIT to the block.
Find a Look-a-Like / Replacement
This is a tricky one because often people are in denial about their attempted replacement. If you’re not sure if your new flame is your hearts way of cushioning the blow of another’s absence, tell your friends about the person’s qualities and show them a picture of the new boo. If your friends look at you with sad, concerned and pitying eyes, then yes, dear, you have got yourself a replacement.
No one can be replaced, no one. It may feel good at the time, but when your brain catches up with your heart, you will realize that your bruised, achy little ticker was trying to fill the space your missed one left behind. THIS, my friends will make you miss the person even more.
Confuse it for Love
Missing people can be confusing. In movies and TV shows, we see that those who miss each other are really meant to be together. Often, they do end up living happily ever after. But that shit aint real. Just because you miss the person, it does not mean you want to be in a life-sharing committed relationship together. GET. CLEAR. ON. THAT. Sure you may dream about the person, listen to all the music you used to listen to together, talk about them at any given chance, get pallatic drunk and text them at 3 am two days before New Years saying ‘i nedd yui.’ and then pass out in the shower before they make it to your door.
All those things might actually happen, but you HAVE to ask yourself; what role do I want this person to play in my life? Partner? Friend? Old friend with catch-ups? Romantic crutch so I don’t feel alone until I meet the person I really will end up with?
Answer these questions before you make any decisions on how to react to your feelings of loss. Missing someone does not equal being in love with someone. Being in love with someone does not always equal wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone. Connect to yourself and get to know what you really want from life in general, then you will know if the person fits or not. If not, embrace the feeling of loss, cry in the rain, sing sad songs on the street walking home from the bus stop, or whatever floats your sad little boat. Then focus on you and eventually you will bridge the gap between that fragile heart of yours and that oh so complex mind.
Thank you for reading my well-structured and thought-out blog. I wouldn’t recommend watching Lovie, Rosie at this point in your life. Especially if you read the book it’s based on Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahern 5 times in your preteens and feel very emotionally connected to Rosie and Alex, because you will cry. A lot. How do you pity yourself during these dark times? I have eaten a shocking amount of Tofu Chow Mein this last month. Shocking.
Live and learn,